Derek Varnum - Lead Guitar, Vocals, Musical Director

Please allow me to introduce myself. I got nasty habits I'm a man of wealth and taste.I was born in a cross fire hurricaine , by a toothless bitchin hag , I hear every mother say they just dont appreciate that you get tired .She said, my breasts will always be open, baby, you can rest your weary head right on me , Though shes not really ill , theres this lil yellow pill ,  she goes running for the shelter of her mothers lil helper .Your the kind of person you meet at certain dismal, dull affairs, center of the crowd, talking much to loud, running up & down the stairs .In the sweet old country where I come from Nobody ever works . Yeah nothing gets done  We all need someone we can lean on,So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak . I was bitten by a boar, I was gouged and I was gored, but I pulled on through .My best friend, he shoots water rats
And feeds them to his geese .  Aint you hungry for sucsess ? I saw the flesh just fall off her bones, the eyes of her skull was burning like coals. Lord, have mercy, fire and brimstone, I was dancing with Mrs. D . She had to heave me right accross her shoulders .When you call my name, I salivate like Pavlov's dog .  Everything is going in the wrong direction, the doctor wants to give me more injections.Don't need a whore, don't need no booze, don't need a virgin priest, but I need someone I can cry on. The preacher said, you know you always have the Lord by your side. And I was so pleased to be informed of this that I ran twenty red-lights in his honor , thank you Jesus ... Thank you  lord .

   Well I never kept a dollar past sunset, it always burned a hole in my pants. I take tea at 3 I'm a fleabit peanut monkey, all my friends are junkies,  , they come around flattered flattered flattered (that's not really true)  The meat I eat for dinner must be hummin for a week , Just had a horse meat pie ,  How come you taste so good ? I've been bit and I've been tossed around by every she-rat in this town. Black girls just wanna get fucked all night .... I just dont have that much jam ! So I was a lil bleery .. no worce for wear and tear . Its not easy facing up when your whole world is black . You know, marrying money is a full time job . You're a rag-trade girl, you're the queen of porn, you're the easiest lay on the White House lawn. Mister President, Mister Immigration Man, let me in, sweetie, to your fair land. I'm Tampa bound and Memphis too, Short Fat Fanny  is on the loose. Dig that sound on the radio, then slip it right across into Buffalo. Dick and Pat in ole D.C., well they're gonna hold some shit for me.  Were talkin heroin with the president .There's some little jerk in the FBI,  A keepin' papers on me six feet high 

   Don't you know the crime rate is going up, up, up, up, up.That's what makes our town the best Pride and joy and dirty dreams and still surviving on the street To live in this town you must be tough, tough, tough, tough, tough , War, children, it's just a shot away, it's just a shot away. Rape, murder, it's just a shot away, it's just a shot away .You got rats on the west side, bed bugs uptown, what a mess, this town's in tatters .  Summer's here and the time is right for fighting in the streets .We all need someone we can bleed on, and if you want it, you can bleed on me Let us walk, before they make us run .  . I will be your knight in shining armour, riding across the desert with a fine Arab charger . I'm gonna smash down all your plate glass windows, put a fist, put a fist through your steel-plated door  .I rode a tank, held a general's rank when the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank! (woo, woo, who, who!)  There will always be a space in my parking lot when you need a little coke and sympathy  . I'll stick my knife right down your throat Baby, and it hurts! Your mouth don't move but I can hear you speak. The sunshine bores the daylights out of me.Only a crowd can make you feel so alone and it really hit home . Gonna find my way to heaven, 'cause I did my time in hell. I watched in glee as your Kings and Queens fought for ten decades for the gods they made . When your spine is cracking and your hands, they shake,Heart is bursting and you butt's gonna break.
Women think I'm tasty, but they're always tryin' to waste me and make me burn the candle right down.I was making love last night To a dancer friend of mine .I can't seem to stay in step,  I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis, With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats she tried to take me upstairs for a ride. She had to heave me right across her shoulder, 'cause I just can't seem to drink you off my mind.I can't get no satisfaction,  I told you once and I told you twice,But ya never listen to my advice ,Well, you've got your diamonds and you've got your pretty clothes .And the chauffeur drives your car . They just helped you on your wayThrough your busy dying day.   And I sit at home looking out the window, Imagining the world has stopped. I see a red door and I want it painted black.No colors anymore, I want them to turn back .  The girl who once pushed me around.It's down to me. Don'cha think there's a place for youIn between the sheets? Don't question why she needs to be so free, Would it be enough for your cheating heartIf I broke down and cried? If I cried? You make a grown man cry . She'll tell you it's the only way to be. You're just a memory of a loveThat used to mean so much to me. You can't always get what you wantBut if you try sometime. Did you ever wake up to findA day that broke up your mind?  I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lieI have my freedom but I don't have much timeI'm always hearing voices on the street,I want to shout, but I can't hardly speak Faith has been broken, tears must be cried .   Take me down little Susie, take me down.And I only get my rocks off while I'm dreaming,I know you think you're the queen of the underground .Now you're a pillar of society , don't worry about the things that you used to be

 Catch your dreams before they slip away .Don't you know promises were never made to keep?
Just like the night, dissolve in sleep. May the good Lord shine a light on you,
Make every song (you sing) your favorite tune. Till the next time that we kiss goodnight,
I'll be thinking of you,We're gonna bring a case of wine.
Hey, let's go mess and fool aroundYou know, like we used to."All I want is for you to make love to me Give me little drink from your loving cup.Just one drink and I'll fall down drunk.